2 1 4 8

From our address, No 2 SS 14/8B, that has been our code, mine at least.

I am preparing to leave home. Our home since 1981. All our memories are here, all our experiences from here. Every corner here is mum and dad. The kitchen is mum, the garden is dad and mum, the fridge is dad, the hall is mum, curtains mum, storeroom dad.. I can go on forever, but the final is that I am still leaving this all behind.

Almost Gong Xi Fa Cai

Haiz.. Its coming to Chinese New Year season.

Just when I thought that I was getting strong, its the same feelings of loss again. Almost 1 year ago mum played ginrummy, i proposed, dad was dead tired, but the whole family was together. All of us were really together. Who would have ever figured that it was our last CNY together. No Mum, No Dad.

All these years this house has been noisy every CNY, and now this year it will be in peace. If mum and dad was to come back to visit, they wouldn't recognize it. A lifeless house, no longer the home that we all shared during CNY. Can I let this happen? What if they come back for CNY?

Already Christmas Again

I still remember last years Christmas celebration. It was WOW.. the whole family was there. it was so noisy, mum was still around. dad was healthy. Thats the best Christmas I can remember. Our last christmas as the entire family.

This year, we will keep up to the traditions, just can't help feeling empty. We are doing it all by ourselves now. Nya with Satay, Trix and Cher with soup and salad. Me with Turkey as usual. Wishing mum and dad was still around is useless. They are already gone. But I can't understand how some can let go of the sentiments so fast.

What can we do for mum and dad this Christmas?
. Be the family that they have always wanted us to be.
.. We, a family together.
... Accepting each other and our own little quirks

All of us miss you today more than any other days. This will haunt us, this will hurt us, this will give us something to talk about for our entire life.

I thought that we would at least have dad here to console for Christmas. Never expected us to be consoling ourselves.

At this very moment, I have no drive again. Like when dad passed. I just don't care for anything.

By and Gone?

It's time to move on.. and let things in the past be left there.

For a Family, Love Unconditionally. Teach the unlearned, let them be taught..

Mum and Dad would want it that way, they only want us to be together.
Can we forgive? May we forget?.. Resentment is dug into the heart, not placed into it.

Dear god. Even YOU who blots out my transgressions for YOUR own sake; and not remember my sins. Put you in rememberence; be contend together; state our case and let me be acquitted.
If you all mighty are willing to forgive, how can we not? Though i will never forget.

Learn Sid. Remember what you have been given. What Dad told you.

Final Resting

Dad and Mums final resting place.. Sounds very final, and the very end of it all. It is..

Now finally their funeral arrangements are complete, and it is still unbelievable that mum and dad are no longer with us. How did this all happen? That I cannot comprehend, it does not seem real. But it is..

Still That Tingling Inside

ORIG POST REMOVED.

Too Quick, Too Soon, But Thanks

From begining to end, it took only 25days.

Dear god, Thank you for your promptness to my prayer. Thank you for your wisdom. Thank you for your mercy. Dad is in your safe hands, at home with you and Mum. Now with your taught lesson, we will continue living, keeping safe from harm, appreciating every day as a blessed gift from you dear lord. We thank you.. Amen

Dad was well taken care of by Esther, in every way.
Emotionally as a loving daughter, a friend, a confidant,
Medically as his doctor, pharmacist and pain reliever,
Esther gave him direction and purpose when Mum was away.
THANK YOU ESTHER, you are the God Sent Angel for mum and dad. This is true. And your children the mini angels that gave Dad extra boost of happiness after mum too.